Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Miracle's fight for intellectual property rights in China

Here's a conversation I've been having over the last several weeks. Hope you enjoy it... Debra Lilley told me to put it on this blog. I always do what she tells me to do. Mogens.

Dear CEO,

We are EUWIN Network Service Co., Ltd in China, which is responsible for the registration of internet trademark and domain name of global enterprises overseas. Today we received an formal application that an international company named "Robe GmbH" wants to apply to register "miracleas" as its own Internet Trademark and Asia domain name in China. According to registration process, we will do a check to their application, and during the process, our computer database displays that the name is being used by you.
Because the final registration relates to the copyright of the name, to avoid unnecessary disputes of intellectual property rights, so we want to confirm your opinion. Looking forward to your quick reply. If you have any questions, please contact us by telephone or email as soon as possible.

Karen Feng
Principal of Checking Department
Overseas Registration Organization
Tel:+(86)731-8187 719
Fax:+(86)731-8187 739

Mobile:+(86)158 7339 0351

Hello China-business-girl,

How much for Miracle.China.Com? Very interesting CEO happy day.

Moans Longballs Nogood.


Dear CEO,

Thank you for your reply. In order to deal the matter better, I will tell you the price now:the domain name is 30EUR per year, the aisa domain name is 40EUR per year, and the internet trademark is 100EUR per year.

During our checking period, the owner of the name has the priority to register "miracleas" internet trademark and domain name. If you want to register it, according to our dispute registration principle, please provide written document(business licence or trademark certificate registered in the local place)to prove you are the owner of "miracleas". We will keep the priority for you during the checking period.

Look forward your early reply. Thank you for your cooperation.

But how much for Miracle.China.Com??? Please email in written statement for good happyness here and everywhere for you!

Also, with respect to your irrevocable demands and undisputed popularity will we pay in Icelandic Kroner cheap cheap?

Dear Moans Longballs Nogood,

Thank you for your reply. The Miracle.China.Com is 20EUR per year. Meanwhile as the procedure of register:

.I will send a application form to you, please find the attachment.

2.Please choose the domain name and internet trademark whice you wan t to register, then fill in and fax to me as soon as possible.

Please contact with me if you have any problem, It my pleasure to help you. Look forward your early reply!


Dear Karen Fang-SAN,

Thank you much. This also will good for Miracle Japan, no?

I have question 100 Euro for Miracle China and 20 Euro for Miracle China is good, yes?

My pleasure your pleasure. It is very early in Dinamarca now, so very early reply! You should go home and eat your children, no?

Happy eating!

Moans Longballes Nogood.


Dear Moans Longballes Nogood,

Thank you for your reply, I am terribly sorry to bother you so early. In fact: register the internet trademark and is very good and necessary for your company. You can protect your intellectul property right by it!

I hope you can fax the application to me early, so I can help you to deal the matter better. Wish you have a good rest. And now it is 9:40a.m in China. Ask a question:what the means of "eat your children"? My English is not very good, sorry!

Thank you for your cooperation. Look forward your reply.

Dear Karen Euwin Feng,

My Mother's name was Longballs, not Longballes. But OK. I am very tired now, but register is very important, so I must not sheep. I know I must protect intelletual property night and day, no!

You are very helpful and good with deal the matter. Thank you so much! It is now 03.42 in Denmark and I am sleepy. We do not eat children here, what it means is that we must protect children in Darfour, yes! They get killed by Chinese weapons, but guns don't kill bullets do. I understand. We all friends.

Chinese love.


Dear Moans Longballs Nogood,

Thank you for your reply. I am sorry for my mistake. Register is very important, but the rest is important too. Rest good in order to work well, yes? You can raply me when you in the office, and you can have a rest now.

About the children get killed by chinese weapons, I do not know the matter at all, and I feel very sorry about it, sorry!!! Of course we all friends.

Thank you for your cooperation. Look forward your reply.


Dear Karen-SAN,

Rest is neccessary to work good, you are right. Thank you for letting me sheep.

We must both rest now with the children. I have big time thank you for your help.


Dear Moans Longballs Nogood,

In order to deal the matter better, could you tell me whether yo have received the application form from me?

If you have received it, please fill in and fax to me as soon as possible, and I ca help you to register the domian name and internet trademark better.

Thank you for your cooperation, look forward your early reply!

Dear Karin Feng -

Yes, many applications here in Danmark. CRM, ERP, backend, frontend, office, retail - MANY MANY applications! They must all protected for property now?! This is very serious. I will contact rest of Danmark NOW.

It is now 06.20 here, so early reply.

PS: My real name is Magnus Ling Ming. My father big King Ling Ming Chinese come from Greenland 42 years ago. You know him?


Also sell mail and femail stones if interest. You have MANY stones in China, no?

Dear Moans,

Thank you for your early reply. I am sorry I do not know how to call you. I think the property's protect is become more and more important,

and we should strengthen our awareness of protecting our right, otherwise it will effect the development. I hope you can make decision early,

so I can help you to deal the matter better. Do you received the application form?

I am sorry I don't know your father, maybe I'm too ignorant, but if you tell more details maybe I can know better. Stones? yes, there are many

stones in China.

Look forward your early decision. Thank you for your time. Wish you have a good weekend!

PS:I'm sorry to bother your so early many times.

Karen Feng

My very dear happy Karen,

I am much pleased. My father was belonged to Muslim minority in China (the Han Muslim Minority in Beijing Province he told me many times over and over again when he talked about his home country China).

He is famous! I have photo of my father in front of BIG BIG unhappy tank in Tianenmen Square! That was my father! Reason for my middlename Longballs when the tank hit him!

I think he died later, but not sure. My mother is no big talker.

But I am very proud and happy of him and I smile with happiness when I visit his unknown grave. It has good karma. Big man! I think some things on my body are big because of him, so very very happy.

So how much money for the intellectual rights again? I have not received any papers! Must be very urgent now. Can you fax them? Or send a letter? My country blocks all emails with documents from China. Why I don't know yet.

Just send letter to:

Moans Longballs Nogood
C/O Miracle ASS
Borupvang 2C
2750 Ballerup

and I think I will receive it. Can you send it hurry hurry urgent with jetplane, no?



PS: I am in love with you! You are very clever!

Dear Moans,

Thank you for your reply. I'm very you can tell me so many details about your father, thanks! The Miracle.China.Com is 20EUR per year, the internet trademark is 100EUR per year. I have send a application form to you, but very pity you didn't receive it. I'll send it again, I hope you can receive it this time. If you can't receive, or I will fax to you later, please give me a early reply! Thank you!

Best regards!


Dear Karen-san,

It is with love I finally write you and your all family (I hope for happiness for all and good luck for the rest! Always!).

I have been very busy in these days. I have a goat that was ill, so I have slept with it for three nights now, and it is better now (love is good healer, no?). I cannot afford to lose goat again. My father always told me to be careful with goats and chicks and not have too many babies. Hahaha. But he is not here anymore, so I do what I must do many more times.

So sorry for not talking to your many four or five emails to me so kind and so loveful.

My mother is a small talker. She say I MUST check on to find you and so you are not fake and trying to steal fortune and luck from me!

My mother not understand that I trust and love you, Karen-san, so I must ask you to tell her that it is OK that you are not offical company for me and my many wives?!

My mother's name Karin Ming, just like yours! But she is OK just not big talker. Very very secret woman.

I must protect my company!

I love you more and more and much.


Dear Moans,

How are you? We have keep the priority for you for a long time, but I don't get any reply from you about the registration.

And today our management give us the last notice, after we tell you once again five days, if we

don't get your any reply, then we will consider that you give up the owner of name "milanplast", meanwhile, we

will obey the registration principles:first application, first possession to accept the Robe company's application,
I hope you can understand our position. In our auditing period, if you have any suspect about their application,

please contact us directly both by email and by phone. Thank you.
Wish you have a nice day.

Karen Feng


My Loving Dearest Karen,

I have been very very very busy digging big holes, so no answer you in long days and nights. Sorry, sorry. You forgive me?

My love goat died suddenly. Perhaps the pressure from sleeping with many of my friends? So BIG hole for it in my garden. Big hole! It is Winter here, so ground is frozen. Very very hard work to put goat to the ground.

But also my dear mother died! Same day! She never was big talker, but now she never talks again. She small woman! So not so big hole in frozen garden this time. I decide to let her stand up in hole instead of lying flat on stomach. Much better. And smaller hole.

I am very sorry about ownership MilanPlast. I think perhaps only Miracle register, yes? Now also MilanPlast and Robe company? I'm do not like this. Can I why not just register everything in China and we can all sleep together? Not cheap-cheap, perhaps, but very easy and good for future business, yes no?

Your Moans, My Moans

PS: I travel to Taiwan with my mother and make big hole for her there so we can meet and have dinner-sleep?

Dear Moans,
Thank you for your reply. I'm very sorry I have make a mistake, I means the ownership of Miracle but not MilanPlast,
sorry about it. If you want to register domain name and internet trademark, please fill in and fax the application form
to me as soon as possible, so I can help you to register it timely.
Look forward your early reply, thank you for your cooperation.
I'm sorry to hear that your mother was dead, don't be too sad.
Best regards!
Karen Feng
Dear Moans Longballs Nogood,
Hope you enjoy your day. I'm very sorry to bother you again, because my management hasten me to deal with the matter earlier. I'm afraid I can't keep the priority for you for any more. So if you want to register the domain name and internet trademark, please give me a reply as soon as possible. Otherwise we'll obey the registration principle to accept the third party's application, help they to register the domain name and internet trademark. Please understand.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Wish you have a good weekend!
Karen Feng


Blogger Marco Gralike said...

You have waaaaaaaay to much time (as they also are telling me).

But thank you very very much.


ROFL ;-)

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Blogger Niall said...

we also have many stones in England, many, many stones - though only a few of them are rolling.

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Blogger Moans Nogood said...

Veeery big stones in Henge, too, no?

6:03 AM  
Blogger Bob Rhubart said...

I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time! You are a weird man, Mr. Moans. But I knew that when I say your "nosey" YouTube videos.

Do you think you can apply that kind of creativity and humor in writing an article for the architect community on OTN? I'd like to talk to you about this. Email me at bob dot rhubart at

7:27 AM  
Blogger Bob Rhubart said...

Yikes! Make that "saw" rather than "say." Yes, I could say "Your YouTube videos," but in that context that would be the non sequitur of non sequiturs, no? Yes?

The typing skills of me are good not.

7:31 AM  
Blogger Hemant K Chitale said...

I am not Chinese.

However, I do find that your posting of this correspondence -- whether true or faked -- on the Internet, and such that it is even "aggregated" by other sites to be in bad taste.
I do find it offensive and it has considerably lessened my respect for you.

2:03 AM  
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Blogger Aman.... said...

ROFL! Just confirm that I didn't read a made up conversation and it indeed happened. Gosh, you made her life hell LOL!

7:09 PM  
Blogger Moans Nogood said...

Nope, it's not made up. Throughout the exchange I have regularly forwarded the conversation to my employees so they could follow it. It was only when Debra suggested that I put it on the blog that I did just that.

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Blogger Chris Adkin said...


There is a film entitled "Being John Malkovich". It has a bizarre story line whereby one of the films characters discovers a door in their office that leads into his mind. If such a door exists into your mind, it should have health warnings and bio hazard signs on it etc . . .

You are good value as ever . . .


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not any more Chinese than Hemant but I second him on this. Poor taste.

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Blogger Noons said...

Karen Feng?
THE Karen Feng?

She contacted me also regarding a domain name I hold in partnership with someone else, non IT-related.

Apparently, someone in China wanted to register the global version of it and wanted to know if I wanted to buy my ".au" version of it.

I should have kept a copy of my correspondence with her, it'd have made an interesting term of comparison!

LOL! They don't learn, do they?

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Anonymous Patrick Kaxe said...

Pardon me for asking this. But it seems like my own intellect lacked at understanding it all, although it seemed quite fun.
But I have to ask, what exactly when on? Did she ask you to buy a website you already owned or did she ask you to buy a website domain you didn't own? Feel free to reply in danish if you wish.

Vi er ikke alle fra et andet land ;)

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Han må sgu ha godt med tid ham mogens.

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